Once again Jordan at Mama Blogga is hosting a Group Writing Project. I’m really excited about this one and suggest you write your own as well - it’s a great opportunity to think about and articulate what this huge part of our lives is about to us as individuals! Submit yours here!
Motherhood is/means . . .
Motherhood is the time in our lives when we go from being the child to the mother and it irrevocably changes our relationship with our own mothers.
I remember driving home from the hospital with the Papaya, my Mother met us in the garage of our house (she’d flown over 3000 miles to be there) and instead of rushing to meet the baby she came and gave me a hug first. She loves me, more than anything in the world. I was just starting to understand that.
Those first two weeks were hard, really hard, on all of us - the usual lack of sleep, visiting mother, and other issues that just came along too. To boot I was lazy beyond all - the idea of walking across my home seemed like a marathon and my Mother lovingly began to talk to me about how important it would be to move again. “Let’s walk out to the mailbox and back” she’d offer - I turned her down. Two weeks in I realized why - I was loosing blood internally and began to hemorrhage and drifted in and out of consciousness.
My Mother cradled me in her arms as we called 911 and awaited the arrival of the ambulance and my husband (the Navy sure did send him home from the office faster than I knew they could on that day). She spoke to me and tried to keep me awake and even brought the baby in to lay her nearby so I could look at her. She then drove to the hospital by my directions, unable to follow the ambulance. In the parking lot of the great building she got slightly lost and had to plop the car-seat back in the car without proper protocol and drive around the building to get to the ER where I was (stabilized but with boobs that were threatening to burst without my baby). She told me about this day from her perspective once - she cared for Papaya for me but her focus was all about me - I am her baby and will always be.
When I got home and lay in bed recovering yet again I began to cry, I cried about the possibility that I might someday not be there for Papaya . At that moment the idea of my own death scared me only in the way that I would not be able to be there for Papaya and she would suffer for not having her Mother in her life. It was heart-wrenching and I’ll never forget that night.
In the years since then we’ve all moved on to our day to day life. As I prepared for a recent vacation (sans Papaya with Mom) I realized that I often thought of her as annoying - she and I always chalked it up to our being so much alike that we grate on one another’s nerves. But as I prepared for this trip and my upcoming move to her home (a generous gesture I ought to thank her for more often) I realized that being mean towards her had become a bad habit. I assumed the worst - if she spoke up my inner voice talked back, I made assumptions just like the popular girls in school used to make towards me. It was a mean habit and my theories on where it comes from are unfinished.
What I do know is that my recent trip made a huge change, hopefully in my actions, mainly in my heart. I took the time to see my Mother through the Papaya’s eyes - I want to love her like Papaya loves me. When I chose to be happy in her company, when I chose not to be judgmental about our similarities and dissimilarities I suddenly found myself really happy in her presence. I found that I love her company and her warm comforting way, her creative spirit, and her sense of confidence that I can learn from. She rocked a great time on a busy trip with a lot of people and we made great plans for the next few months as house mates.
Motherhood is admitting that I have not always been the best TO my Mom but that I want to be, I want to be better each day so that I can live up to the love that the little Papaya gives me each day.
If you liked that post, then try these...
In my home by Papaya Mom on March 13th, 2007
Not getting a vasectomy?It's maintaining critical family capability for chup building - we don't want the industrial base (ability to produce more) to erode to the point that if in time of a family emergency we needed another chup - and would have to source out to another family because we've lost the ability to make more chups.
Boots mean something to her. by Papaya Mom on January 27th, 2008
Yesterday Bumpa donned his .
New York by Papaya Mom on June 18th, 2007
I'm in NY.
Life has changed by Papaya Mom on January 1st, 2008
in wonderful ways, but my free time is often quite different than it was six months ago.
Thanks, Mom. by Papaya Mom on July 25th, 2007
Thanks, Mom.
Popularity: 55% [?]
What a great story! I’m always amazed at the care that mothers give—and I love that you talked so much about your own mother! I’m always focused on how *I* define motherhood that I forget the wonderful example my mother set for us.
A very touching post. I’m sure you’ll be glad one day that you made the effort to get along better with your Mother. Good luck in the Group Writing Project!
It is true that we see things so differently as mothers. Lucky you for having a stand-out Mama. Lovely post.
This was wonderful. We really don’t understand how much our parents love us until we become a parent ourself.
Such a lovely piece, very heart-warming! What an experience you had! And that’s what my mom always says ‘you’re my baby and always will be’.
Such a great piece. Thanks so much for linking to my blog, for sharing this. I posted my own for GWP, but I don’t think it’s as eloquent as yours!
Thanks again!
What a great story. Somehow, our unfinished “mom” business bubbles to the surface when we have our own babies. Happened to me too.
Oh Dear Lady , That is beautiful. It is a great freedom that you have gained to be so mature. I am so happy for you and you Daughter as well as for your Mother.
This beautifully conveys the feelings you have for your mother and Papaya. Lovely! I sure appreciated my mum a lot more when I too became a parent.
This post was so touching. I love being with my four year old daughter and I only hope that our warm companionship will weather the adolescent years and carry on into adulthood.
What a touching story, thank you for sharing it.
I too traveled a rocky road with my mother before reaching the point today where I can truly call her one of my closest friends. I blogged for the last GWP in fact (a post titled “No Market For Used Teenagers” - the Thanks Mom one - sorry, my computer’s acting up and I can’t get to the link right now).
I definitely understood my mum better once I became a mother too. So much of what you had to say resonates with me. Thank you for such a touching post.
You’re so lucky you have a loving relationship with your mom. Becoming a mother myself makes me miss my grandma more intensely, and wonder why my mother couldn’t do what she was supposed to do. It is interesting how our perspective shifts once we become mothers.
I enjoyed reading your post!
~Michelle
beartwinsmom.wordpress.com
Found your post via MamaBlogga’s Sept. Group Writing Project.
What a lovely dual tribute to your mom and to your child!
Great way to look at things. My mom & I are disturbingly alike too, and so after a few days visit, she’s on my nerves too. I will try and do what you do next time, and see if that helps. Thanks for the post
What a wonderful story! Being a mother is the greatest gift and it´s really until we become mothers ourselves that we see that. i´m glad you are getting along better with your mother and can see how deep and caring her love for you is.
Congratulations on your win. Your story is beautiful.